Sometimes I feel that my relationship with Shreemati is a microcosm of a much larger cultural difference. This seems to be case when we face challenges. A few years ago I was in the process of a career change (or adjustment). During this time she continued to be optimistic at the opportunities that lay before us and I kept a continual focus on fate and destiny and loss. Perhaps this is a personality difference but as I’ve lived in America for all these years I do notice that the people in general are an optimistic bunch.
I’m not saying that there are not exceptions, of course there are, but what I’m saying is that the fatalism that I grew up with is very ingrained in my mindset. While I try not to hold on to it and it goes against everything I now believe, it is still there. And I’m starting to think that while I am a very happy person and have a very positive outlook on life, there is a lingering thing in the back of my head that at times holds be back.
Right now we’re facing a few challenges and this issue keeps popping up. The “can do”optimism that Shreemati shows at times rubs me the wrong way. I think this is in her personality but it’s also a part of her nationality and culture. This sense that with hard work and a little bit of smarts anything is possible. I on the other hand keep focusing on the difficulty and the quiet sense that in the end it’s really just a matter of destiny. At least that what I seem to be operating under. A total lie of course.
Bideshi Biya 