Somewhere in a village in rural Nepal there is a distant aunt who hunches down, lowers her voice and gives the same answer whenever someone asks her of the nephew that never came back. Whether its a young teenager asking or, the new chiya-walla asking its the same answer. In a hushed down version of her normally high voice (for drama) she says such and such nephew has stayed in America after “bideshi biya”. And this bit of news never ceases to amaze, shock and disspoint – depending on the perspective of the one asking.
And for the most part this aunt is telling the truth. Her distant nephew did end up staying in America after getting married to a cute little caucasian girl with brown eyes and a heart of gold.
For some reason the phrase “bideshi biya” has stuck in my mind over all these years. I live near the West Coast of the United States with my beautiful wife of almost 10 years (Shreemati on this blog). I have three wonderful daughters: Thuli, Maili and Kanchi (all blog names of course). I have fairly typical middle class American life in the suburbs.
Shreemati and I have been through a lot over the past 16 years that we’ve known each other. We dated for a few years before finally getting married and as we approach our 10th wedding anniversary I could not have been happier. But that is not to say the stares, the glares, the questions, the answers of inter-cultural marries has not been challenging. It’s been a journey for sure. I figured I might as well share this journey with the world.