I can’t say being a handy man around the house is one of my biggest strengths. I’m sure there are plenty of guys like that out there, but I am particularly sensitive about it. For starters I didn’t grow up around a handy man father. Also, the homes in Nepal are very different. And not to mention that when things broke around the house we always had a local fixer upper guy who showed up and did stuff for us in exchange for a very reasonable price (to my family).
So the reason I get a bit sensitive about this is because my father-in-law and his brother are very handy and can fix things around the house. They know a lot about tools and techniques and can eye-ball things and get things done around the house. When they come to visit they normally get a few things done around the house for me and end up being a huge help in so many ways. I appreciate that but also feel a bit inadequate at times.
My wife’s uncle for instance has pretty much been the one who set up all the storage units in my garage, put in new light/fan fixtures in one of my daughters room, trim the trees, keep the bushes and stuff trim etc. In fact I make a list of stuff for him and when he visits we do it “together”. My father in law is like that as well and has been responsible for helping with appliances and maintaining stuff in hard to reach places.
This is not to say I have no skills. I am certainly capable of learning. The first house Shreemati and I bought together needed quite a bit of work. It wasn’t a fixer upper per se, but it needed some upgrades. So we thought. Once the work began we realized it was a lot more. In fact, the first four months were spent fixing things up. It didn’t help that we bought in late Fall and being in the midwest at the time, things got pretty cold while major work was still being completed. We ended up having to sleep in the basement near the furnace while working on the floors upstairs (stories for another day).
This experience proved to be very valuable (we did get our money back when we sold for those interested in knowing.) I had some hired help during this time, but to save money did a lot of the work myself. So, I learned to put dry wall, fix the flashing in the chimney, put in the garbage disposal, pain, peel off wallpaper, dig holes to fix leaks in the foundation, install bathroom fans, install a toilet and the list goes on.
So, over the years I’ve learned quite a bit, but I can’t say I enjoy it. But at the same time I want to really learn and be good at it. Sometimes I wonder how other Nepali guys (South Asian guys too) deal with this. Do their American/Western wives have expectations that their man will fix things when they break. Is this expected? I’m curious to hear about this and learn to what extent this is a cultural thing and not a personal thing. This is interesting to me considering how manual labor is looked down on in South Asia.
